NOT SURE THE DATE
I started
my day with an excel mood happy and excited for today event. I just feel
excited without any reasons to it. Knowing me, I not always happy and excited
and hyper , as today I went here and there around the college taking pictures, snapping other’s pic , laughing. However, why
the only happiest day I had , become such a gloomy day to my roommate and
friends. Did I did something wrong? I feel guilty for being happy. What a weird
case. Today, as usual I would like to share my happiness with other but I got
rejected.
And now I
left alone in an empty room. Feel the
loneliness remained me home. How much I miss my beloved sister. For me, I
seriously hate to be alone. I just can’t handle it. And once again , did I hurt your heart? How you feel? Or maybe accidentally leave such a big scar
to your soul my dear friends? For the whole day, I have been spending my day with laptop. Everyone ignored me. I
don’t know why I just feel sorry to them. Whenever I asked why you look so
gloomy? There’re no answers. Can you
imagine how I feel? Yes of course you can’t, such an idiot. Thinking a machine
know how to have feeling like human.
Saturday,
August 22, 201522/8, 8:12 PM
Here I’m
sitting alone typing the keyboard. A
keyboard worrier to be , haha. My day started for being late to perform subuh this morning. But Alhamdulillah because
, Allah woke us up at 6:45am today. Well, it not really me it my roommate.
So we’re not late. Watching Cinderella before slept last night left me with a proverbs, ‘have courage and be kind’ . yeah, so it’s
the secret for our princess to stay
courageous, kind and finally married to the prince for her kindness and
uniqueness . From the story, I learn how to have courage in doing something
impossible, like finishing the tons of chemistry assignment which make me feel
nuts to do it or to have courage to tell the truth about
my results for this mid-semester exam to my lovely parents. As I living on the
earth, my parents have been treated us to always doing well in academic.
Besides, all my sisters and the only brother are smarter than I’m, yes I admit it. Ergo, they
always rank first in school . I repeat in ‘school rank’ instead of ‘class
rank’. Wondering what they eat to become
so clever and intelligent in academic? We all eat the same food and menus for
each of the meals. Yet, no different to me. Maybe because the REAL reasons I study
is not because of future , not because of
Allah but I’m scared to be scold. That’s all. Its STUPID right? My talk to my
beloved counselor sis Nadia , well she always remind me to always be grateful
with everthing you have, Alhamdulillah.”
Maybe you’re not as smart as the siblings, but you have your own special.
You’re friendly enough to have friends where ever you go. Insyaallah you will
be fine and Allah always there for you. ”
Now, I want
to start a new chapter of study because of Allah.
My life in
matriculation is so hectic with tons of assignment need to be done on time! And
to score in the exams in this short term
programme. Can you imagine the syllybus you’re supposed to cover in 2
years and it had been cut for not even half of it. But 10 months! Can
you imagine how hectic and stressful it is to us. BUT, if our senior can do it
and passed with 4.0 PNGK why not me? I can do it , but I’m still looking for
the great way to it. How I wish I could find the best way right away. My life
is going to be easier right? That’s the hardship in achieving success. Yes it
was hard, I admit it. I never cried because of study stress before . but in here
I did. Calling my dear best friend with husky voice saying I can’t do it and I
want to go for architecture all of sudden. During that moment, I almost gave up
with all the studies. Because how hard I study , I did not score in exam. Which
mean the result is not what I targeted. I feel my efforts are useless and nothing worth came from it. From that I
know, the reasons why my result is so disappointing… it all because of I’m not
doing homework given by lecturer by myself. I copied from friends without
study. So , to those going to matric the feel to ‘tiru’ others mesti akan ada.
As you know in matric you’re going to have a lots of work need to be done in a
short time. Just be careful. If you want
to excel. And, remember whatever it is , do it because of Allah. Not lecturer,
parents or even your girlfriend or boyfriend , if you do have one la. With that, it going to help you study easier.
Good luck
for the future.
Now, its
11:09 PM. Tonight while doing chemistry
assignment, my roommate’s classmate came . she loudly express her feel about
someone. What a funny thing is, everyone in my level scared, they assume me and
Yana had a huge fight over a boy. They knocked the door a few times , however
they flea before I open the door. Seriously I feel ashamed for being loud.
Luckily, our fellow tak dtg. If not we’re dead.
That’s for
today be happy, have courage and be kind always, forever to everyone. NIGHT!
Monday,
August 24, 2015, 11:41 PM
Today, I’m
literally in happy mood. As usual I don’t know why? Be happy for no reason. I
do feel energetic going to classes, even my roommate and I woke up late today.
Never been in history of living here (matriculation phase), our biology
experiment went too well besides, we’re lucky enough to have extra 30 minutes
after the experiment to rest. Guess what I’m doing that time? Of course
breakfast since I had been out so early today to submit my chemistry assignment
and don’t even had chanced to buy a mineral water.
Next, we
‘re supposedly had math quiz today, Fortunately, it had canceled due to the our
math lecturer forgetness. I don’t know why, I have been lucky today. Hope for
better tomorrow.
Before
going back to hostel, I stopped at unit physic asking for my ex-tutorial
teacher’s signature as I sign for PALS
program which a program conducted by HEP
by having study groups among the students. Asking teacher how my practicum’s
result in physic? She said “boleh tahan… teruknya. But in your practicum(class)
no one fail.” For me, its consider lucky isn’t it?. Alhamdulillah. thank you Allah.
NIGHT
PEOPLE! ITS too late for me to stay up. I have classes to attend tomorrow.
Gotta go!
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